Dude, You Spilled Haterade all Over My Vagina!

Today friends, we’re going to deconstruct one of my favorite hate mails.

“What?” You ask, “You Melissa, get hate mail?”
Oh yes, dear reader, I do indeed get hate mail, at least one a week, as do most of the men and women I know who are public about their life in any way. The hate mail I receive usually has to do with me having a vagina, and a family, and a career… because Lord knows you can’t have all three. Read more


Every Morning with My iPhone

Every morning I wake up and click… pursue an interest, and click, pursue another… and associate that interesting bit with another here, which I look up, and another here, which I investigate into minutia… into fractals into tiny bits and bytes and break it downs until finally finally finally…  Read more


The Scourge of the Douche

A horrible scourge has entered the American lexicon and it pains me and my girl parts every single time it’s used. It’s the misuse of the word douche.

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Keeping the Brain Pickers at Bay

“I’d like to pick your brain.”

It’s a phrase that unless you’re 10, or just not that interesting to other people, you’ve heard before.  I don’t know how you feel about it, but for me it conjures up used car sales men and Amway representatives picking at day old chicken carcasses while chewing with their greasy mouths wide open. Read more