Why Has God Forsaken My Hiney
This is no joke. My ass is indeed flattening at the same rate my thighs expand, leading me to believe that the fat of my backside has been ever so slowly pouring itself into my thighs. It’s amazing, it’s astounding, it’s AWESOME …Could God be testing or preparing me for something (for what I wonder? Am I to invent an unbelievably comfortable church pew? WTF God?). I may have traded my ass fat in a deal with the devil one drunken night in Souix Falls, IA, for another ride on the mechanical bull, but I can’t imagine for what.
Regardless of fault, whether it be in omnipresent deities, or *gasp*, it was me and my love of cupcakes, Chicago dogs and lazy Sundays, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays… I’m really pissed about it. The nerve of God/The Devil/Cupcakes/Gravity to pull such a stunt. WTF? Who ever heard of asses that melt down into a person’s thighs? How did two pounds of my beloved lard creep down without notice? I’m interested in reversing the flow of fatty tissue, but outside of the BRAZILLIAN BUTT LIFT or anti gravity gurdle, I cannot find much information about how to put the fat back where it should be. Is there such thing as a daily exercise regime geared towards adding more cushion to my tailbone? Do you know?
Will need photos before I can offer an opinion.
Thanks for sharing.
Jeff
mine traveled upwards to my upper arms – let me know what you discover
Jeff,
Diagram has now been provided. Photos are involved in legal proceedings against God/The devil/Cupcakes/and Gravity and are sealed until the case has been resolved.
Kathryn,
I will include your findings in the above mentioned case.
The solution is obvious, sleep upside down and travel by hands. This not only reverses the butt-thigh phenomenum but will also reverse related upper body effects. BTW- Doesn’t “WTF God?” appear somewhere in the Book of Job?
My butt fat has traveled up to my mid-section and has provided me with a lovely “muffin top” teetering very gingerly along the waistline of my pants/skirts and an additional roll between my bellybutton and boobs. I have noticed, like Kathryn, that some rebel fat has done a Lewis & Clark move and explored its way to my upper arms where it bravely waves like a flag in the wind.