Posts

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Humping

Bugs, Fried in Thailand Was going to let our seven year old continue to think “humping” was putting your butt on someone else’s head, until he announced to our neighbor he’d humped his sister “lots of times.”

He was so embarrassed when I told him that teenagers sometimes referred to mating as “humping” … at least they did in my day… and it occurs to me, the kid probably has no idea what “having sex” means, since we always use the term “mate” (thanks Discovery channel.) With the way kids whisper it to one another, like it’s dirty and gross, if he’s heard it, he probably thinks it’s some kind of icky dessert grown-ups eat in secret, made with bug larva.

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This Would Have Never Happened Had We Used Birth Control In The First Place

4yr old bursts open our bedroom door, announces “I have to go poop!” in the loudest officialest voice he can muster… then… looking over in our direction asks, a little cautiously, “Papa, why do you have your penis in mama’s vulva?”

1: When do they stop announcing every bodily function?

2. What did you tell your kid when he/she burst in?