photo by Dane Tashima

When I modeled,  my thighs were 19 inches around, and my waist wasn’t measuring much bigger at 23 inches… and do you know what? I was considered too fat to do editorial runway! I tried a variety of ways to get slimmer, eventually getting small enough to do a Donna Karen show before I realized how insane the whole not eating thing was.  I can’t imagine being that thin now, my 5’8″ frame would look so unhealthy, bony, and downright emaciated. Just thinking about the getting back to my “pre-baby” body I get this lightning bolt in my chest, an awful shuddering that goes deep into my core. How could have I (a mensan!) fallen for such flawed ideology of what was beautiful?

I bring this up because I recently measured my thighs when I realized they were too big to fit into my size 8 jeans.   They were 23 inches, the same size my waist was when I was modeling! I was understandably despondent for days, wearing big tee-shirts and my husbands jeans, bemoaning my lost youth and fat thighs.

That is, until I noticed mens pants were sized by actual measurements and women’s are just a made up number varying widely depending on the brand.

That is, until I drew a circle with a 25in circumference and saw how small it actually was.

That is, until I realized what a scam women’s fashion was.

What is that about anyway? Why does women’s sizing work against women that way? Is it some kind of diet/fashion industry conspiracy? WTF Fashion? What is wrong with you?

When I’m naked, I finally feel good in my own skin, finally feel like my body is rightly proportioned healthy and beautiful, but as soon as I shop for clothes, whether in my closet or at the store, I still have no clue what a size 8 is, I just know that is the size I’m supposed to ask for. Why can’t women’s clothing tell us the truth about our bodies? We can take it, in fact, I’m fairly sure we’d prefer it, don’t you think we could?

Fashion – you have been forewarned, we are going to kick your lying ass and force feed you until you make us look and feel good about who we are.