A Family That Makes Things

Last month, after unsuccessfully shopping for a loaf of bread under $4 that did not list corn syrup as an ingredient,  I started baking bread.  As I’m neither a saint, nor a perfectionist, nor do I have time to knead bread while my children make “science experiments” out of any and all liquids they can find, I used a bread machine. Every other day for the past month, I have dutifully measured out and piled eight ingredients, one over the other, into a mountain of powders floating on a warm oil slicked foundation of water. I put the sloshy concoction into the bread machine, push some buttons, and four short hours later a loaf of whole wheat bread is born. … Continue Reading

Never Have Babies Near the Statue of Liberty

Let this be a reminder: Never forget to have your children explain to you what’s happening in the pictures they draw, you may just get your next screenplay idea.

Praying for A Two Week Miracle

Four years ago I watched my mother get happily married in Vegas before she flew off to England to start her new life. Three years ago, she flatlined during routine angioplasty and almost lost that new and wonderful life. My mother almost died another two times after that, covering her bathroom walls with blood from a burst femoral artery. … Continue Reading

Dude, You Spilled Haterade all Over My Vagina!

Today friends, we’re going to deconstruct one of my favorite hate mails.

“What?” You ask, “You Melissa, get hate mail?”
Oh yes, dear reader, I do indeed get hate mail, at least one a week, as do most of the men and women I know who are public about their life in any way. The hate mail I receive usually has to do with me having a vagina, and a family, and a career… because Lord knows you can’t have all three. … Continue Reading