Q: Monkeys, where did you go?

Here we are, nearly recovered from a week of sleeping on the ground and peeing outside. I am awful glad to see my bed, although it does not do much to alleviate my current dilemma. I’m ready to explode with sexual tension, my clitoris once again unreachable in any position due to my ever growing belly, and although there are ways to get around that issue, it’s never been one of his strong suites, or I’m too impatient, I’m not sure which it actually is. I guess I’ll have to do it myself, gotta’ have one to get it right I suppose… Just don’t know if I want to go though these last two months without orgasm during sex, and then cold turkey for six weeks after the birth! There has to be some kind of fairness here. Is there a way to have sex and get HIM not to climax? That would do the trick, I’d feel vindicated for a Moment at least… Maybe that’s a little evil, but then again, when has any man I’ve know actually waited for me to have an orgasm every single time we’ve been so inclined… Oh, but how many women out there have w a i t e d for their little boys to get off. Like I said, just a little tension. This was the point in pregnancy with boy #2 that I considered investing in some very expensive high tech toys.
On a less personal note and tying right in with boy #2, boy #2 spent our whole week in the trees looking for monkeys, he would call to them, “Monkeys, where did you go?” it was darling. Boy #1 was wholly obsessed with fire and took every opportunity to set to fire anything he could possibly fit into the fire pit.

Q: Who’s triumphant?

*Was an Assirian King and guided a pharoe to the spirit world via the north star
*Watched an old man drive triumphantly down our street with Bach blaring
*Watched Boy#2 march triumphantly down our hall while drinking a bottle of Astroglide.

Q: Fat Rolls and Cheetos just the way we like em’?

Went to the cheapest grocery in town, took the bus with boy #1 & 2. Was fine enough, groceries for two weeks for a family of four – $40. Was in a hurry to leave the neighborhood after though, a lot of vagrants talking to boy #2, and a mentally ill lady singing to him every children’s song she knows, one after the other no breaks, no breaths…Just flat intonations of insy winsy spider, row row row your boat, twinkle twinkle little star coming out of a cheeto crusted mouth. Now, that’s entertainment! What a way to spend the last of daddy Cole’s cash…

Q: What coult be better than flint rocks and gasoline?

Preparing for a week long camping trip to Madison, WI via Winnipeg MB (that’s in Canada). Promises to be a small adventure for a 7 months pregnant fritter eating cowgirl and her trusty herd of boys at her side. Cole is still away in Portland, it feels like it is just going to drag on. Funny, I used to look forward to getting time without him, and now I can’t sleep at night, must have something to do with the bachelor party aspect of it, or, perhaps it’s the preparing to send boy #1 to his dad’s for the winter coupled with lost travel documents, or, maybe it’s that I need to get laid, or I’m not getting enough omega-3 fatty acids, or maybe the fact that I’m peeing every 10 minutes has something to do with it. Looking forward to camping though, it should be fun to hike with Cole and boy #2 through whatever wilderness. Little tiny baby feet navigating nature trails. We’re driving in 4 hour stints from one state park to another. “Moterin’ One more time tonight”… Working on getting excited about it anyway, would rather douse it all and send it up in flames for a weekend on a mountain by myself.