My List of 2009 Absolutions:
I forgive myself for hating and the parts of my body that didn’t “measure up” last year. I forgive myself for feeling guilty that I felt that way.
I forgive myself for not listening to my instinct 100% of the time when I clearly knew thrill and adventure were out to get me.
I forgive myself for calling my teenager an “ass” – more than a few times, even if at the time I felt he deserved it, I know he doesn’t deserve to have it on replayed in his memory which is what phrases like that tend to do.
I forgive myself for not wanting to play legos, ever. It’s ok that I’m not into them.
I forgive myself for playing my viola out of a sense of obligation instead of joy.
I forgive myself for the guilt I feel over loving that my children go away to preschool for 12hrs a week.
I forgive myself for not trusting in my abilities to move my own projects forward when clearly others believed in my abilities enough to ask me to push theirs.All of these mistakes and guilty feelings I set up on fire in the bathroom sink, said a little prayer for, and let go of. Symbolic crap for sure, but man do I feel cool for setting my sink on fire, and yes, I feel like there is a lot more room in my mind for the good things 2010 is bringing my way.