Tonight I went to a GDGT event for a tech gadget press preview where the platinum sponsor was Sony. They were showing off their new Personal 3D Viewer, (which is just a fancy term for goggles that play movies.) As is their right for paying the most to be there, Sony was positioned to be the first table most attendees visited after hitting the open bar. I was no exception so with whiskey in hand, I approached the Sony booth, put on the headset, and hit a little button on top of the goggles to start the Hi-Def 3D movie. The demo that played was a relaxing island scene, 30 seconds of waves crashing, birds chirping, waterfalls falling, and wind blowing through palm trees, it was truly beautiful, if not a little bit boring, and almost made me feel like I was there. Following that relaxing 3D odyssey was a full minute of a woman’s ass in a bikini bottom bouncing as she walked away in slow motion… and that’s when I knew I could never buy another Sony product again.

Because Sony doesn’t have the decency to show me a 3D slowed down version of a bullet through a piece of glass, or a building collapsing on itself, or a fireball exploding on a supersonic airplane, but instead uses their supercool gadget to show me the soft core porn version of the most boring event ever for twice as long as the rest of the video, I can’t buy their nice things. Because no one watches a person walk for more than a few seconds anyway, I can’t buy their nice things, Because Sony’s creative department really thought that this would hold anyone’s attention, much less the attention of the majority of Americans that make the buying decisions (AKA women), I can’t recommend you buy their nice things either.

Did Sony seriously think confusing a tech gadget event for Maxim video was a good idea? I tell you what’s not a good idea, inviting the press and bloggers to see your super cool gadget, and having them write about how uncomfortable you made them feel when a bunch of drunk guys comment on how they’d like to just reach out and touch some ass. Sony turned a professional tech review into a sophomoric discussion on how to objectify women in Hi-Def and 3D. Congratulations, jerks.

UPDATE: My friend Frank would like me to point out that gratuitous ass in a bathing suit does not a soft core porn make. As he was brave enough to out himself as an expert on soft core porn, I concede his point.

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